Funny Irish T-Shirts And St. Patrick's Day Shame

by LongmanSex on Wednesday, November 21, 2012

By Larson Mosley


Well, the time draws near for one of the biggest nights for drunken revelry in the United States. It's time to put on your green hat, find some funny Irish t-shirts, and get down to partying. It's not like your friends are going to let you slide and stay home. Your destined for the bar, and there is very little you can do about it but swallow your green beer and smile...it's almost St. Paddy's Day.

Once you're wearing the best funny Irish t-shirts you can find, it's time to start drinking. If you're half-Irish or more, then this means you've started drinking at 8 in the morning. For everyone else drinking on Saint Patrick's Day, it is okay to start around 4 in the afternoon. Just remember to start with beer, because you don't want to be drooling on yourself at 7 pm.

The benefits of picking truly excellent funny Irish t-shirts comes into play around the third straight hour of heavy drinking. When your inhibitions are lowered to the point where you stumble towards every person that makes eye contact with you so that you can point at your shirt and say, "Read this!"

There will be a certain point in the night when you are going to need to do some serious self-evaluation. Are you so drunk that you need to lean against something in order to stay upright? That's not a very good sign. Some people would consider going home at this point, but you're representing Ireland tonight...so you must take your funny Irish t-shirts to the next bar and soldier onward.

After you eventually pass out, there is just one last phase of your debauched Saint Patrick's Day revelry. You now have to wake up, tame your splitting headache, find your way home, and sleep off your terrible hangover. I hope you kept any bodily fluids from getting on your funny Irish t-shirts, because you're going to have to wear something home...and it likely isn't going to be your pants.




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