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I am supremely sorry to bring you guys such terrible news, but the end times are coming. Whether you are a hardcore Romeroian who believes that the zombies will be slow-moving undead that can only be sent back to the grave with a shot to the brain or if you're more keen on the fast-moving plague victims from "28 Days Later", you have to realize that the zombie apocalypse is surely near. "Zombie fever" may just be a phrase indicating fandom of the genre, but soon it will mean that the pits of Hades are full and the dead now walk the earth. So which zombie t-shirts would suit you best? I think it may have something to do with what type of survivor you'll be.
Did you stockpile a bunch of water and granola in your basement when the Y2K scare rattled America? Well, you may be the Hoarder survivor in our zombie scenario. You aren't going anywhere for any reason. Your plan consists of outlasting the undead by stocking up on food, guns, ammo, and water. You likely had a stockpile of these things already in preparation for nuclear fallout, but it works just as well for a zombie outbreak. The chances for a Hoarder to survive is decent, but not great. His reluctance to relocate may be his downfall. You may be a Hoarder if you own ALL of the zombie t-shirts.
The next type of survivor is the Soldier. The Soldier is someone who may have been a police officer or a military type before the zombie outbreak occurred. These people don't merely fight zombies, but also fervently organize against them. They rally troops of common people by their sides and fight back against the growing tide of undead. The chances for survival for a Soldier are pretty slim, however, since fighting against zombies is just begging for death. One little bite, and that's all she wrote. The zombie tees that Soldiers will be wearing will say something along the lines of, "Kill 'em all and let Got sort 'em out!"
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
There are, of course, lots more examples of survivor types out there. You may not even be able to judge them accurately by their zombie apparel, especially once they become sufficiently covered in gore and zombie pieces. A good rule of thumb is to avoid anyone with a chainsaw and find a gun as soon as possible. A melee weapon wouldn't hurt too much either. Nor would a riot shield.
Did you stockpile a bunch of water and granola in your basement when the Y2K scare rattled America? Well, you may be the Hoarder survivor in our zombie scenario. You aren't going anywhere for any reason. Your plan consists of outlasting the undead by stocking up on food, guns, ammo, and water. You likely had a stockpile of these things already in preparation for nuclear fallout, but it works just as well for a zombie outbreak. The chances for a Hoarder to survive is decent, but not great. His reluctance to relocate may be his downfall. You may be a Hoarder if you own ALL of the zombie t-shirts.
The next type of survivor is the Soldier. The Soldier is someone who may have been a police officer or a military type before the zombie outbreak occurred. These people don't merely fight zombies, but also fervently organize against them. They rally troops of common people by their sides and fight back against the growing tide of undead. The chances for survival for a Soldier are pretty slim, however, since fighting against zombies is just begging for death. One little bite, and that's all she wrote. The zombie tees that Soldiers will be wearing will say something along the lines of, "Kill 'em all and let Got sort 'em out!"
The last type of zombie apocalypse survivor is the "Hero." The Hero is our kind of guy...or gal. I'm totally not a misogynist. These people are not like some other kinds of survivors and are only concerned about themselves. They want as many people as they can find to live through the catastrophe so that the human race can rebuild from the ruins of its former glory. The Hero will sacrifice their own safety to ensure the safety of others, and they should be applauded...right before they are shot in the head because their actions led to their inevitable zombification. The Hero's survival chances are not so hot, honestly...for obvious reasons. The best zombie t-shirts for these Heroes should have some kind of Superman symbol on it.
There are, of course, lots more examples of survivor types out there. You may not even be able to judge them accurately by their zombie apparel, especially once they become sufficiently covered in gore and zombie pieces. A good rule of thumb is to avoid anyone with a chainsaw and find a gun as soon as possible. A melee weapon wouldn't hurt too much either. Nor would a riot shield.
